Butterfly Kisses

Earlier today I received an unexpected phone call from someone I don't know. Naturally, I am sure you are thinking that there was a mistake while the other party was dialing the phone number, or it could have been one of those annoying telemarketers that somehow managed to land my personal cell phone number. After all, I thought the same thing.

As I answered the phone, there was nothing but silence on the other end. "Hello?" .... .... "Okay, I'm hanging up now!". I hung up the phone and didn't think about it again. About an hour later, I received yet another phone call from the same telephone number. I answered the phone again and my greeting was followed by a raspy male voice I had never heard before "Umm Hi, Is this Missy?" I was a bit startled by this. Only members of my extremely close-knit family had ever referred to me as 'Missy'. "Ehh... This is Melissa" I responded. After no response from the other party, I interrupted the brief yet very awkward silence "I'm sorry, but I am not sure with whom I'm speaking to.. Who are you looking for?" Suddenly the man on the other end started clearing his throat and seemed a little hesitated, but he still had no response. I had no idea what to say. At this point, I had no idea who I was talking to, why they called, or if they even had the correct number. Suddenly I received an explanation. "Missy, this is your dad, Billy"..

A million things were going through my mind. As he tried to justify the past 2 decades of his absence, I could do nothing but retrace my steps and relive my life through instantaneous flashbacks. I was born into a family of my twin brothers who were 2 years older than me (also Billy's children), my mother, and my mother's friends who lived with us. My mom worked 2 full time jobs to provide for us and keep up with the financial demands of raisinghousehold with 3 small children. One of her friends' hit a rough patch, so my mother gave her a room and a fair exchange of free room and board for childcare. It was our version of being poor with the benefits of a nanny.

When I was 4, my mom started dating a businessman with his own office, who seemed so large and so powerful to me. His name was Eddie, and he had no idea what he was getting himself into! My brothers always had serious behavioral issues, and I was very spoiled. I was the baby and the girl, so when he mentioned chores by the time I was seven, he was in for an earful of whining and crying and hatred. One of my brothers was in a near fatal pedestrian vs. Harley Davidson collision when he was 13, and barely survived, seemingly cheating death several times while in the ICU for several months. By the time my brother was home, wheelchair bound for the next year, our family seemed to get larger by the minute. By this point, I had two baby sisters born within two years of each other. We moved to a new county, my mother had a new job and the fancy title she worked for her entire life, and all together, a new beginning (Not including of course the million dollars in medical bills she was facing). The years went by, my brother survived, and both of them turned into the rowdy and obnoxious teenagers that the teachers would have paid to drop out of school had there been no legal consequences for doing so. I on the other hand was the smart one. I was the one that was that had the capability of making my dreams of becoming a surgeon into more than just a dream. But, I still chose to be a teenager. I cut class, stayed out past curfew with my first love, and ended up pregnant at 17. By this time I had a full time job, and an apartment of my own. I was the last of the teenagers to move out on my own. Now I have had my ups and downs. I made mistakes and needed pick-me-ups all along the way.

A lot has changed over the years, but the one thing that has always remained the same is my love for the people in my life. My brothers have veered off into their own worlds for now, but my family has remained my rock and the one place that I will always be welcomed with open arms and ears by my mom and Ed and my two sisters who love me unconditionally.

As I drifted back into whatever Billy was saying, I had to stop him. "Bill, I am not a little girl anymore. I am not a baby, and I do not need to be raised. Someone has already done that job for you. Thank you for your call, but I am doing well for myself. I am not sure where you got my contact information, but please do not contact me again. The most I can do is pray for you. Eddie is a great man and I was safe in his arms and guided all along the way by him. He may not be in my blood, but he is my father." I hung up the phone and never heard from him again.

This conversation hung heavy on my heart for a few minutes. A few minutes passed and my thoughts quickly transferred over to the man that had cared for me for all of these years. The one man who was always there for me, and no matter how much I pushed him away, he loved me every day with his whole heart.

So what is a father? To me, a father is a girl's first love. A father is the man who leads you through life punishing you when you need to be punished and admiring all the good in you. A father has nothing to do with what is running through your veins, but only what is in your heart. A father is a gift from God and many times does not come with the same last name. He is the one you picture yourself dancing with while "Butterfly Kisses" plays in the background. He is my Eddie, and he can never be replaced.